deep down, we're all just a little material girl

park city's annual 80s prom went down on saturday. while i didn't get my groove on to any iron maiden that night, i was fortunate to have a few drinks with jenny beforehand.

yay. 80s.

canis lupis comp

sunday was the canis lupis at the canyons, an annual natural halpipe banked slalom contest. it's pretty burly this time of the year - big, icy rollers nestled between a 3 foot-wide gully. 10-15 foot banked walls. absolutely gnar course. i couldn't have been more stoked to try my hand at this speed race.

a few practice runs on saturday and things felt alright. by the second run through, the course started to feel a little familiar and a little less intimidating. met a few people who would be running the course...definitely felt like a backyard BBQ - just a casual grand ol' time at your home.

i saw whitney at registration the next morning. her nerves were pretty far shot. too bad she skipped out on breakfast at powder daze - the first chair crepe with peanut butter, nutella and bananas was a good start to the day. after a few freeride runs, i headed over to the canis lupis to get a few practice runs in before the comp.

it wasn't until my last warm up run that i realized i probably did too many. legs a little tired, adrenaline kind of gone...pretty much nothing left for the race. time soon found me standing at the top of the course waiting to drop in. the first turn pretty much indicated my run was fucked. almost missed the first gate, somehow missed the last gate, and in between the start and finish, i bailed twice - once landing on my head; the other a nasty landing on my hip.

it was the last fall that took me out of the race. gripping my left hip in pain, i finished out the race with tears swelling in my eyes. with a grand time of 177 seconds, my name graced the list of worst times out of all 75 competitors. turning away help from ski patrol, i stuck around to watch a few more people finish the race, coming in with times like 89, 93, or 100 seconds. even whitney pulled off 105 seconds. maybe that crepe didn't hit the spot like i thought.

once i finally rallied back to the base, ski patrol tried to help me out at the clinic, but out of state insurance wasn't accepted, so i hitched a ride back to my car from the nice patroller who obviously felt a little bad for my situation.

in so much pain, it took about 10 minutes to get from my car to my room, and it wasn't until 8 hours later that i could make my way to the clinic to get my leg x-rayed and checked out. fortunately, no broken bones, and the bruise is only now starting to show up 3 days after the crash. photos to come as the bruise comes to surface...

baby computer genius

this is quite possibly the best press release i've ever received, even if it's in celebration of today's holiday.

For Immediate Release - Inwindow Outdoor Acquired for $2 by Nation's Youngest Entrepreneur April 1, New York - In a bizarre turn of events, Inwindow Outdoor, the undisputed global leader in innovative outdoor advertising, has been acquired for $2 by an 18 month old toddler via an Ebay auction. "I'm in complete shock", announced CEO, Steve Birnhak. "I was showing my nephew how to list an item on Ebay and as a joke I used my company as an example. I was just going to cancel the posting but I must have hit the wrong button. The next thing I know, I get an email from Ebay congratulating me on the sale to 'ShebsNYC' for the unfathomable sum of $2 using the 'Buy It Now' function." ShebsNYC, it turns out, is the screen name for Shelby Wilder, a little girl who doesn't know how to type, much less use a computer. Her parents often buy toys and other items for Shelby using the auction site and thought it would be fun to make the purchases through an account set up for her. In this case however, the purchase was a complete accident. As her mother Joan explains it, "We have no idea how Shelby did this. She loves hitting the keys on our computer, or 'pooter' as she calls it, and this time she must have somehow managed to actually make a purchase. We're quite proud of her ambition." Jeff Cohen, Director of Business Development for Inwindow Outdoor summed up the mood of the staff, "we were all extremely energized in anticipation of our upcoming launch of our new product - Pillvertising, which puts tiny ads on prescription capsules for popular drugs. You know how much this country medicates? Our company is growing like crazy and this was going to be the biggest thing since Gumballvertising, which we introduced last month. Then this happens. At least the folks at Bear Stearns got $2 per share. We got $2 total. Even if the offer is raised to $10, that's still not enough for all 20 of us to get home on the subway. We're all pretty demoralized." As for Shelby's long-term plans for the company, her intentions as the new owner are unclear, but if her first day on the job is any indication, her presence is already taking the company in exciting new directions. According to Birnhak, "She and her parents showed up with around 14 other really little kids because it turns out her parents run a day care. It was absolute chaos. One kid bit my ankle. Another threw up in the fax machine. Instead of calling clients, I was reading 'The Little Gorilla' and 'Go Dog, Go!' and even changing diapers. I was about to have a breakdown when inspiration hit me harder than the stench hitting my nostrils. Diapervertising - ads on the inside and outside of diapers that are given away for free or low cost to parents!" DEC's for Diapervertising have been conservatively pegged at 250,000 per baby based on the reply from the Magic 8 Ball sitting in the company's offices. Ned Ryerson, media buyer for Outdoor Edge Vest Share Group Com Star Media : FBI says, "Sounds reasonable to me". For more photos, rate card pricing and information about Diapervertising, please click here: http://www.inwindowoutdoor.com/diapervertising.html

THINK Outside the Box
BE Inside the Window

tall tales and magical stories

you can read this story once here or get the lowdown over here. but if you're already here, you might as well read the embellished version.

after boosting 10 feet out of a natural halfpipe on every banked turn at the canyons a few weeks back, barry, craig, hart and myself gave each other a round of high-fives and hugs as we reflected on a magical run. "how magical!" barry exclaimed. as the run-out returned us to the base of the lift, the magic must have followed right behind us. seconds upon unstrapping our magical bindings from our magical feet, a tall, lurky giant overshadowed the four of us as we stood in awe over such a person.

but was this truly a person - man, to be specific - conceived of a mother and father from the heavenly soils on earth?

craig's excitement could no longer be contained as we took a seat upon the lift. "did you see that?!?" remarked craig. "no," said barry, confused at the sputtering coming from craig's lips. "that guy was, like, 8 feet tall!" exclaimed craig.

turning our heads to look two chairs back, a human giant sat with his legs dangling from the chair lift. "oh, i know that guy," i said. "he's some retired utah jazz bball player. he can slam dunk without dunking." with lightning-fast, magical speeds, barry dialed his friend andy in seattle, a sports fanatic with more knowledge than a crystal ball. "andy. it's barry. quick. what's that tall basketball player? the one that used to play for the utah jazz?" pause on the other end. "you know, like a really tall guy?" continued barry. "is he white?" asked andy. "yes," replied barry. "is he 7'4"?" asked andy. "sure," said barry. "oh, that's mark eaton," said andy all-knowingly. "MARK EATON!" i exclaimed. "that's totally who that is."

as barry hung up the phone, relieved at his new epiphany, we conspired to approach mark eaton for a magical photo opportunity atop the hill. as we watched him approach the unloading ramp at the top of the lift, our amazement was heightened as we watched his technique - magical, of course - for getting off the chair. with 4 foot tall calves, this giant was required to apply a bit of skill in standing up. no sooner had he gotten off the chair that we cautiously approached this creature, not knowing what to expect.

"excuse me, uh, are you mark eaton?" "why yes, my son. yes, i am," responded mark eaton, in a soothing, non-scary-giant-like voice. "could we get a photo with you?" asked craig. "i would be more than honored to be in a photo with you all," said mark eaton to our amazement.

as he placed his goggles on top of his head, we could slowly see his hungry "i eat people shorter than me" eyes give way to passion and care as he placed his arms around barry and craig.

with 2 snaps of a button, our magical day was immortalized in a digital world. forever will barry, craig, hart and myself remember this day as an amazing opportunity to bring magic into our lives.

and later that day, we conquered the mountain and ate the people who tried to follow us.

it done broken itself

if you didn't know, landing on your face while snowboarding can be a recipe for a minor broken nose. note to self: sticky, spring riding in the park is best left for a waxed snowboard. time to go to the clinic and get me a Rx for loratab. because..you know..i'm in so much pain.

glitz and glamor

paris hilton's movie 'hottie and the nottie' may have tanked at sundance this year, but that doesn't mean that the general public is any less hyped on celebrity status. take, for instance, the world superpipe championships at park city mountain resort just last week. this comp - with its 22 foot pipe walls and all - brings out the big guns of skiing and snowboarding. shaun white, tanner hall, simon dumont, torah bright, kier dillon, mason aguirre, kelly clark. whether these guys and gals have won olympic medals, x-games titles or earned a stint on MTV's "scarred", the rise of these snowsport superheros is opening a new portal of glitz and glamor to little boys and girls all over the world.

"i wanna be like mike" is a phrase of the past. "i wanna fly like shaun" is probably more apt to apply. while fans lined up to get high-fives and hugs from shaun white as he made his way out of the pipe, about 8 paparizzi were tagging along as if they just caught a glimpse of britney spears coming out of rehab.

it was like hollywood came to park city (fo real, though. 10 days of PIBs during sundance is plenty.), to catch the latest trends in a fashion show down the catwalk. i suppose a 22 foot tall superpipe is like a modeling podium... showing off cab 12's and next year's hottest outerwear... but even this woman could attest to the high-profile of this snowboard comp.

well, for all you cheeky bastards (don't be jealous, hart!), not only do i have red hair and snowboard, but my hand gracefully cupped mr. white's hand in a solid high-five while i was lined up with the rest of the fans to get an up-close view of the flying tomato, himself. i also prefer target over walmart. so you might as well start calling me shauna white, because i wanna be like mike fly like shaun eat a red tomato. after all...like snowboarding, lycopene does a body good.

recap

well, it turns out i'm a horrible blogger.. aside from the inconsistent posts, there's the whole lack of visual appeal here. embedded links and photos of snowboard porn and such wouldn't be so bad. living in park city has helped me realized that i love to start projects and never carry them out. guess this isn't an exception.

it finally stopped snowing long enough for people to shovel their entire driveway. 2 weeks ago, it snowed around 100 inches in 10 days - a couple of 12" dumps here and there, but mostly it was slow and steady enough to where the snowplows just couldn't keep up. lucky for me, i caught a pretty bad cold and left work early a few times because i was too sick to work. but actually, conditions were so sick outside that the only kind of bed-rest i was doing was droppin pillow lines. ok, not really - park city doesn't have any pillow lines to speak of, but some of the best days of the season were seen.

half of the gato negro crew rolled into park city on tuesday just in time for my alarm to go off. turns out their drive from seattle was 5 hours longer than they expected, so as they arrived at my place at 5:45am, i was starting to dream about the smell of my breakfast coffee and toast.

craig and mario definitely chose a good first day in park city. perfect bluebird, local's night at o'shucks and plenty of free-flowing beer to understand that utah liquor isn't all that bad after all. the hangover on wednesday proved it.

brighton was conquered on wednesday - though i was convinced mario and craig brought the NW weather to utah: flat light, snowy and windy. but this was enough for the guys to fall in love with the dry, 'best snow on earth' stuff (gore tex in the NW is about as important as a condom in a ski town - keeps you dry and protected).

it's been nothing but bluebird skies all weekend. president's day holiday means lift lines are packed tighter than pam anderson, and it's prime time to play a rousing game of Your Team. anyone up for a round?