tall tales and magical stories

you can read this story once here or get the lowdown over here. but if you're already here, you might as well read the embellished version.

after boosting 10 feet out of a natural halfpipe on every banked turn at the canyons a few weeks back, barry, craig, hart and myself gave each other a round of high-fives and hugs as we reflected on a magical run. "how magical!" barry exclaimed. as the run-out returned us to the base of the lift, the magic must have followed right behind us. seconds upon unstrapping our magical bindings from our magical feet, a tall, lurky giant overshadowed the four of us as we stood in awe over such a person.

but was this truly a person - man, to be specific - conceived of a mother and father from the heavenly soils on earth?

craig's excitement could no longer be contained as we took a seat upon the lift. "did you see that?!?" remarked craig. "no," said barry, confused at the sputtering coming from craig's lips. "that guy was, like, 8 feet tall!" exclaimed craig.

turning our heads to look two chairs back, a human giant sat with his legs dangling from the chair lift. "oh, i know that guy," i said. "he's some retired utah jazz bball player. he can slam dunk without dunking." with lightning-fast, magical speeds, barry dialed his friend andy in seattle, a sports fanatic with more knowledge than a crystal ball. "andy. it's barry. quick. what's that tall basketball player? the one that used to play for the utah jazz?" pause on the other end. "you know, like a really tall guy?" continued barry. "is he white?" asked andy. "yes," replied barry. "is he 7'4"?" asked andy. "sure," said barry. "oh, that's mark eaton," said andy all-knowingly. "MARK EATON!" i exclaimed. "that's totally who that is."

as barry hung up the phone, relieved at his new epiphany, we conspired to approach mark eaton for a magical photo opportunity atop the hill. as we watched him approach the unloading ramp at the top of the lift, our amazement was heightened as we watched his technique - magical, of course - for getting off the chair. with 4 foot tall calves, this giant was required to apply a bit of skill in standing up. no sooner had he gotten off the chair that we cautiously approached this creature, not knowing what to expect.

"excuse me, uh, are you mark eaton?" "why yes, my son. yes, i am," responded mark eaton, in a soothing, non-scary-giant-like voice. "could we get a photo with you?" asked craig. "i would be more than honored to be in a photo with you all," said mark eaton to our amazement.

as he placed his goggles on top of his head, we could slowly see his hungry "i eat people shorter than me" eyes give way to passion and care as he placed his arms around barry and craig.

with 2 snaps of a button, our magical day was immortalized in a digital world. forever will barry, craig, hart and myself remember this day as an amazing opportunity to bring magic into our lives.

and later that day, we conquered the mountain and ate the people who tried to follow us.

it done broken itself

if you didn't know, landing on your face while snowboarding can be a recipe for a minor broken nose. note to self: sticky, spring riding in the park is best left for a waxed snowboard. time to go to the clinic and get me a Rx for loratab. because..you know..i'm in so much pain.

glitz and glamor

paris hilton's movie 'hottie and the nottie' may have tanked at sundance this year, but that doesn't mean that the general public is any less hyped on celebrity status. take, for instance, the world superpipe championships at park city mountain resort just last week. this comp - with its 22 foot pipe walls and all - brings out the big guns of skiing and snowboarding. shaun white, tanner hall, simon dumont, torah bright, kier dillon, mason aguirre, kelly clark. whether these guys and gals have won olympic medals, x-games titles or earned a stint on MTV's "scarred", the rise of these snowsport superheros is opening a new portal of glitz and glamor to little boys and girls all over the world.

"i wanna be like mike" is a phrase of the past. "i wanna fly like shaun" is probably more apt to apply. while fans lined up to get high-fives and hugs from shaun white as he made his way out of the pipe, about 8 paparizzi were tagging along as if they just caught a glimpse of britney spears coming out of rehab.

it was like hollywood came to park city (fo real, though. 10 days of PIBs during sundance is plenty.), to catch the latest trends in a fashion show down the catwalk. i suppose a 22 foot tall superpipe is like a modeling podium... showing off cab 12's and next year's hottest outerwear... but even this woman could attest to the high-profile of this snowboard comp.

well, for all you cheeky bastards (don't be jealous, hart!), not only do i have red hair and snowboard, but my hand gracefully cupped mr. white's hand in a solid high-five while i was lined up with the rest of the fans to get an up-close view of the flying tomato, himself. i also prefer target over walmart. so you might as well start calling me shauna white, because i wanna be like mike fly like shaun eat a red tomato. after all...like snowboarding, lycopene does a body good.